November is...

Lung cancer awareness month.
I don my pearls with pride this month.

Two years ago, my world was turned upside down when my aunt passed away from lung cancer, quickly followed by my mother's diagnosis.
Two years ago, while mourning my aunt, I watched my mother go through 15 chemo treatments and 45 radiation treatments. I listened to her doctors claim she wouldn't make it through the treatment.
But she did.
A year ago, as I got ready to welcome Muffin into our lives, I watched my mother deal with a cancerous tumour in her brain. Lung cancer is famous for heading up to the brain.
Only days before I gave birth, my mom underwent brain surgery to remove the tumour.
Three months later, she underwent gammaknife radiation because something showed up in her next brain scan. Her doctors weren't sure if they had gotten all the tumour out. It had broke into pieces durning her operation.
Today, her lungs are still looking okay. Her brain is looking okay. She will be going in for a scan this week to check her bones. She's been complaining about a back/hip pain. It's not due to her lower back injury (she slipped a disc years ago which led to her discharge in the military). It's either arthritis, osteoporosis or, worse case scenario, bone cancer.
Being a cancer survivor, she can't rule anything out. She has to have it checked out.
I'm doing my best not to think about the what if's of my mother's health. I consider myself lucky that I still have her in my life. She drives me completely bonkers sometimes, but she's my mother. She's one of my best friends. She's my biggest cheerleader.
I know our time is limited. Really, if you think about it; our time is limited with everyone in our lives. My time with my mom just has a shorter time line than I would like. I've come to accept that. I have no other choice. I don't want to dwell on the end when it's not here yet. When it comes, I know I will deal horribly with it. Hubby knows it too. He'll be here to pick up the pieces.
Until then, I know I am blessed to still have my mother in my life. And it doesn't matter how crazy she is; how nutty she drives me; or how mad we can get towards each other. I am grateful for the past 30 years I have had her. She's my mother and I love her to the moon and back a million times over. I am proud of how she's kicked cancer in the butt.
I wear my pearls with pride.
I wear my pearls for hope.
I wear my pearls for my mother.

This Boy

I got to go to this cutie's classroom today for 30 minutes. I met his teacher who raved about him. He already knows his alphabet, he can count to 100 (and beyond), he can write his name and he knows his colours and shapes. All the things his teacher is teaching the junior kindergarten class. She's teaching the senior kindergarten students (it's a split class) sight words. To work together as a class, the teacher decided to teach the junior kindergarteners how to "read" a story looking at the pictures. My monkey got to get up and hold the book. He then read the book, word for word, to the class. Shocked his teacher.
Monkey loves to learn. Always has. He's been begging to go to school since he was two. When he turned three, we put him into a program called Best Start. It's a daycare for kids getting ready to start school. It gets them used to what school will be like. I was home; it was money we really could have used for other things; but he loved it so much. It was worth it. He went only two days a week. It takes place in his current school. So when he started jk this year, the only thing he wasn't used to was taking the bus. I drove him to and from the school the year before.
I walked out of Monkey's classroom having a very proud Mommy Moment. I thought it was just my bais Mommy thinking he was a smartie, but I guess not. His teacher said he's one of the brightest in her whole class. And he's super polite too. Thank goodness! Feels like all he does is pick fights with his baby brother here at home.
Yes, I'm very proud of my darling big boy.
I am very glad I got this chance to go spy on his class and talk to his teacher.

Foods and Other Rambles

Another long day a head of me. We're off to McMaster Children's Hospital for Muffin's followup to last week's appointment.
My mother has volunteered to go down to Hamilton with me and the kids. She's such a help! I can leave Monkey in the waiting room with her, to play with the toys while Muffin and I see the doctor. She came along with me last week too. The doctor was so relieved to see I had a ride and wasn't the one driving. He was worried about me more than Muffin when I almost went down. Guess I was still pretty pale leaving the room with him.
Whenever a day of travel comes up, I worry about lack of excerise and food choices. I don't worry too much when I'm with Hubby. I know he'll keep me on the right path; as well as we can. And I keep him on his path. "Do you think the Baconator is a good idea?" A question I think I've asked more than twice. I'm all up for bacon. I love the stuff. I always say I could live comfortabilly as a vegetarian if I didn't have to give up bacon or cheeseburgers. A good bacon cheeseburger is a guilty pleasure of mine. Now I know I can have my bacon cheeseburger. Just once a month (if that) is more than plenty.
Now, traveling with my mom and the kids is a different story. Mom is always pushing me towards non healthy foods. Or if I find something healthy to eat, she tells me she's proud of me and then either pushes her leftovers or the kids leftovers on me. Or suggests dessert; something she hardly ever has. When I was growing up, dessert was a once in a blue moon treat. Mom and Dad viewed dessert as a reward for eatting your dinner. They didn't believe in giving out rewards for things we were just supposed to do.
I guess Hubby and I share the same vision as far as desserts go. We never have them. Unless his other two kids are here. Then I bake up a storm. Cupcakes, cakes, pies, treats, treats, treats. The other two are used to processed crap food. Their mother doesn't really cook. Mac and cheese from a box, frozen processed meats, hot dogs, grilled cheese and lots of frozen french fries. They're super picky and if it doesn't come from the frozen food area or in a box, they won't eat it. Hubby and I are very different. We make most of our food from scratch. Homemade chicken nuggets, hot dogs only at lunch time (and for the kids. I don't like hot dogs and they're high in points anyway). The two older kids don't like eating at our house because we make them try new things. So I bake and have dessert siting on the counter, staring at them, daring them to eat their dinner so they can have a piece of that homemade peanut butter cup tart, or whatever it might be.
I didn't offer any desserts this summer when they were here. I think they missed them. But we took them to Disney World where they ate their weight in ice cream every day.
If you ever take your kids to Disney World, most of the buffets offer mac and cheese (our kids said it was the best they have ever had. They had some every day I think) and build your own sundae bars. Our kids were in Heaven.
So today I will walk as much as possible and hope to find some healthy food to eat for lunch.

Yesterday's Overview

Breakfast: Muffin (5pts)
Lunch: Soup and french bread (7pts)
Dinner: Sausage, mash potatoes, yucky peas (9 pts) (and in case you're wondering, I hate peas!)
Snacks: French bread with butter (4pts)

Excerise: 2.5 mile walk; 45 minutes Cardio

And lastly...Did you notice? Did you? The tracker up top? 48 pounds to go until goal!

Not Over Yet

Yesterday should have been the last hospital visit for Muffin. We were supposed to go in, have his catheter removed and and have the doctor say he looks good. Then we were supposed to go home and hope we never have to go back for another surgery. I was supposed to have my happy baby back and good and healthy.
Supposed to.
Instead the doctor said he was healing wrong. Skin was forming to the wrong area. The doctor went into full surgeon mode to correct it right then and there. Muffin screamed like someone was killing him, there was blood everywhere, and all though I did my best to try to comfort Muffin and help the doctor, I nearly went down.
At first my stomach felt queasy. I made a mental note to grab some food as soon as we were done. I figured I didn't eat enough before hand. I started sweating. I mentally scolded myself for not taking off my coat and getting overheated. Next I was dizzy. Once again, I figured I was just hungry. Next thing I know, everyone sounded like they were miles away instead of right next to me. The doctor looked up and shouted at me to sit down. I think I sat just in time.
I was embarassed. I'm still embarassed.
I don't know what made me feel so faint. The blood; watching the doctor work; my baby screaming; a combo of any or all of that. I don't know.
I focused on my breathing for a couple of minutes and then jumped back into helping the doctor. He was worried about me, but I was too worried about my baby to care.
I have to take Muffin back in on Tuesday for a follow up appointment. If he's doing better then, we go back in December for another follow up. If he's not doing better...I don't know what happens next.

Yesterday's Overview

Breakfast: 2 cups coffee and yogurt (4 pts)
Lunch: Apple squash soup (4pts)
Dinner: Wendy's chicken burger, half a small Wendy's fries (16pts)
Snacks: Fat-free vanilla latte (5pts)