Planning future pets

Yesterday we sent our beloved Charlie Cat to his final resting place. Letting him physically go was so much harder than I thought it would be. Hubby and I have had our brave faces on for the boys over the last few days. I finally broke down and cried last night. Once those tears started flowing, they were hard to stop.

Scattered all over our house are the sad reminders of the little fur ball. Monkey #1 is ready to go pick out a new kitty. Or a puppy since he knows I've been wanting a dog for over two years. Hubby and I have agreed to wait it out a little. Hubby said in a month's time. I'm thinking more towards the end of the summer.

(Dark picture of Charlie Cat taken last year by Hubby's iphone)

Any new animal will need time, lots of time, to get used to us, our home and our lifestyle. We have many plans for over the summer months. Picnics, hikes, lazy days at the splash pad, beach visits, a trip up to North Bay, a few days in Stoney Creek, a possible Niagara Falls day trip, a day trip to the Toronto Zoo, a few trips to the water park in Kitchener. Tag all those with the fact that Monkey #3 is still technically an infant who requires most of my time, and we have a recipe for disaster if we introduce a new pet. A puppy can't come with us for most of these day trips. And we'll be gone too long to leave one alone at home. A new kitten needs time to learn not to jump on counters or climb curtains and window screens. Being away from it so much won't help it learn. Plus I don't want to be one of those people who brings home a pet to just never be there for it.

(Charlie Cat back when he was a kitten. He was a handful.)

So, if we do get a new pet, which I can almost guarantee will happen because I love having a fur ball in the house, it won't be until closer to September when I know I'll be home to introduce our new family member to our lives properly.

Moving on

Over the past two weeks, we’ve had our few ups and many downs as a family. That’s life.

Today is a new day. The start to a new WW week for me, since yesterday was my WI day. I know some might consider WI day to be the start of their week, but I don’t. Since WI isn’t until 6:30pm, the beginning of the day feels like the last day.

I haven’t lost weight over the last two weeks. That leaves me feeling rotten. I know why I haven’t. I ate poorly. I didn’t get in my gym time or bothered to work out here at home over the last week. And now I pay the price. I’m okay with that. It’s now in the past; I can move forward.

I haven’t been able to fall back asleep since the baby’s 4am feeding. Kitty is on my mind. Instead of lying there, tossing and turning, I got up. I made myself an egg sandwich with red peppers and green onion and lots of hot sauce. I looked up exercise routines. I enjoyed (and still am enjoying) some coffee with cinnamon. I looked up kittens and puppies for sale. I listened to my boys all snore over baby monitors. I pre-planned and tracked my meals for the day. I made a mental note not to touch the peanut butter and chocolate ice cream in the freezer. I had some yesterday; I’m not allowed today. If I really want peanut butter, I can have a limited amount with celery. If I really want chocolate, I can have it in tea form.

With not quite 5 hours of sleep under my belt, I’m sure I’ll be taking advantage of nap time today. Monkey #1 doesn’t have school today, so I’ll be cat napping on the couch while he watches a movie or something on Netflix I’m sure.

I got my Studio Calico kits the other day. It's always a happy day with Mr UPS Guy drops off my box of goodies. It made me realize I haven't really done much with the past couple of kits I've gotten. Lack of time. So I sat down and made this layout in 10 minutes:

 Fun x 3; the title is about the toy Monkey #3 is playing with. The box of shapes. I bought it for $9 when Monkey #1 was 9 months old. All three of my boys have loved playing with those shapes. Best $9 spent!

And lookie at how the Project Life kit was packaged!

So cute! At least, I think so . Nice and neat and fits into my project life supply box nicely. 

Tonight I hit the gym for some much needed strength training. And maybe a 20-30 minute run if I have the time.

saying goodbye to a dear friend

A week ago yesterday, I was calling Hubby in Ottawa to tell him I thought the cat was sick. He had been acting strange for a few days, but it wasn't until that Sunday I really noticed.

Now I sit here, on the cement floor of my laundry room, cradling my kitty while the little boys nap. 

We've done all that we could for him, but it looks like this is the end. My little heart murmur kitty only made it to 3 years old; although you wouldn't be able to tell he's so young right now. He looks like he could be 20; he's so sick.

I don't know how I'm going to tell the boys. Monkey #1 is the only one who's going to understand what's going on. He's not going to take it well.

Charlie isn't the best cat. Heck, he isn't even a good cat. But he's a part of our family; we love him very much.

My heart is breaking...

Plugging on

The fog of this cold is finally starting to lift. I spent Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday in a foggy haze. I had no desire to do anything. I don’t think I had the energy to do anything even if I wanted to. Poor Hubby was picking up the slack big time around here. He’d work all day long to come home and clean, take care of the monkeys and take care of me. He’s an awesome guy; I’m very lucky. Thanks to him, my house isn’t a wreck.

I haven’t been to the gym since Sunday. I’m feeling so icky. I’m going tonight for sure. I still can’t breathe out of my nose and I still have a nasty cough, but I need to go. I actually miss going. I haven’t been as happy this week. Okay, yeah, I was (am) sick; who’s going to be happy when feeling like dirt, right? Still; getting your sweat on has been proven to make people happier. When I was happy being inactive I couldn’t imagine anyone truly loving an active life style. I couldn’t wrap my head around why anyone would want to sweat. I felt sorry for those active people; they missed out on a lot of tv.

I can’t believe I used to think like that. Never would I have thought I would be one of those people who likes to sweat. Okay, confession, which I think I have confessed before too, I hate sweating. I hate the feel of sweat. I prefer to be dry. But I’m willing to sweat now. And that I don’t mind at all. I like knowing when I feel gross and icky from sweat, I can shower that ick off and I’m left feeling awesome from a great run. Or that feeling of empowerment that comes from beating a personal record with the weights. I look forward to those feelings now. I’m craving that right now. I don’t care if I run at a snail’s pace tonight. I just want to go.

Oh, and the official no has been given to Ottawa. They offer Hubby the job; they really liked him. They just weren’t willing to pay for him. They low balled him for money. He countered back, asking for $2 an hour more. They refused. So, as upset over it as we were, he turned them down. We’re not going to uproot our family if we can’t even keep up with our current lifestyle. It’s not worth it. It’s a shame. We were so excited (and stressed) about that potential move. 

Spread the Germs

You’d think it was winter time in my house. Not almost summer. The monkeys all came down with colds. And even with lots of hand washing, I too, have succumbed to those germs. I’m a sniffling, sneezing, coughing wreck who’s nose is both stuffed up and runny.

We’re a household of grumpy sickies.

Thankfully Monkey #1 isn’t too bad and he was able to go on his class trip to African Lion Safari today. Hope he’s having fun. 

The one nice thing about being sick is that I have no desire to eat. Not even absent mindedly. Since I have kids to feed, I am remembering to eat something. Maybe that pound I put on stress eating will melt back off thanks to this cold.

I want to get my sorry butt to the gym tonight, but would that be wise? I figure if I take hand sanitizer with me, I shouldn’t spread any germs around.   But will I have the energy to make it through a workout?

Stress eating

I caved to the pressure of being stressed out.

 Chips and pop called my name and I answered. I didn't eat a whole bag of chips; but I ate way more than I should have. And pop; we haven't had pop in the house since Christmas! And now there's an almost empty 2L bottle in my fridge.

Hubby will not be impressed when he gets home. He won't be ticked off. He's not like that. But I might get a small lecture with good intent behind it.

Being alone to parent the monkeys for a few days was tough. It didn't help that Monkey #3 is teething and sick. Monkey #2 is getting sick. Monkey #1 is going through a rebellious faze. And, I myself, on top of being tired from 5 hours of broken up sleep, am getting sick myself. How do single parents do this? Kudos to all single parents out there! 

The stress of being the only adult in the house, the stress of Hubby's interview, the stress of a possible move, the stress of everything regarding my parents, the stress of the cat getting seriously sick (unsure if he'll recover or if we'll have to put him down) and so on and so on...

Hello stress eating! The day before weigh-in too. If I must stress eat, I must remember to do it on Tuesday so I have the rest of the week to work away at those extra calories I ate. 

Typing that out and reading it to myself shows me how self destructive I can be. I shouldn't have that mentality. That I can pig out on a certain day because I can go to the gym the rest of the week.

What I need to work on is finding more productive ways to handle stress. Or emotions in general. It's something to personal work on throughout this week since we're still up in the air about a move. The company likes Hubby. Hubby thinks he likes them too. Now it's all about negotiating. 

Stress...

Hello anxiety! How are you? I've been better without you looming over me.

Really, it's not so bad. I haven't fallen full on into the grips of anxiety. It is building though. It's looking more and more like Hubby's interview on Monday is more of an there's-our-company-this-what-we're-offering-you-please-take-the-job. They've expressed he's exactly what they're looking for.

I'm feeling pretty proud of him.

Unfortunately, nothing is set in stone yet. We're not even sure if we'll know more about the near future by Monday. Just because he's going in and it looks like they're going to make an offer, doesn't mean they will. Or that he will accept one.

I'm very much a planner. It's driving me crazy that I can't start planning. Although that hasn't completely stopped me. The past two days has had me glued to the laptop, kobo (I have an Arc, it's like a tablet) or the iPod touch searching kijiji and MLS for houses. I've been researching areas, Google Mapping how far places are from the possible office and from the only Anytime Fitness gym. I'm locked into a 12 month contract, but I can go to any Anytime Fitness gym in the world; and I can have my account transferred. I've been looking up schools and preschools. I've been comparing moving companies and u-haul. I've been trying to figure out if a smaller u-haul truck would be good enough since our current 3 bedroom house is on the very tiny size. Everything we own currently used to fit in our 2 bedroom apartment. The only things we've added is a second tv, a futon and bunk beds.

In other words, I'm setting myself up for a great disappointment if this job falls through. I'm letting myself get too excited over it. But, on the positive side, if Hubby takes the job, we're a little ahead of the game since we're going to have to move fast. We're already setting ourselves up for the possibility of him living and working in Ottawa during the week and coming home on weekends until we get everyone moved. There's a very small possibility of him being able to work from home for a few weeks while we pack up and move.

I haven't told my parents about the possible move yet either. That's eating away at me. I want to be here to help them in anyway that I can, but we can't pass this opportunity up.

I feel torn. I keep brushing my teeth so I won't eat out my stress.