Monday, April 29, 2013

Stress eating

I won't! I won't! I won't! I will do my best to stay strong.
Everyone has stress in their lives. It's a part of live. We can't avoid it. But we can learn how to deal with it.
I am an emotional eater. Always have been. When I'm happy; I eat. When I'm stressed; I eat. When I'm sad; I eat. When I'm pissed off; I clean. I'm sure my house would like it if I were pissed off more. It's hard to keep a spotless house with the amount of kids I have around here. But that's a different topic. 
Right now, I am stressed out. I am sad. I am so low I wish I could just crawl into a hole and cry; hide away from the world. But I can't. I have responsibilities. Like I said, I have kids. They need me. 
So here I am trying my best not to run out and buy chocolate. I'm trying not to throw my hands up and order pizza for dinner.I'm doing my best to stay motivated to get my wide butt to my meeting tonight. 
It's easy to tell someone who is upset to just stay busy to keep from eating. 
It's not to easy to go so sometimes. 
Why am I stressed out? Why am I upset? Because I'm about to lose one of the most important people in my life. My mother is losing her battle with cancer. We've been helping my mom and watching her fight with this dark disease for four long years. In February we were told there is nothing more the doctors can do. All they could do is to do their best to keep her comfortable. 
How does one keep it together when their father calls to talk about funeral arrangements for a person who isn't dead yet? How does one keep it together when that father spends 5 minutes crying on the other end of the phone because he knows the end is painfully near? How does one not turn to the comforts of comfort food in times like this? 
All I can say is I will try my best to eat good foods to help fuel myself. I think I will be needing a great amount of strength, mentally and physically, over the next days or weeks. Healthy foods will help. Junk food will just weigh me down. 
All I can say is that this sucks.

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