Meetings

Okay, quick question...What happened to Hungry? He used to be on the Weight Watchers commericals. I love seeing Jennifer Hudson because she's an inspiration, but I miss the cuteness of Hungry. I saw the dolls on Esty once. I should track them down again. Would love to have one. I could tell him "No" every time I want something bad for me and I'm low on points for the day. Ha! That would be fun.
Anyways, today I want to talk about something that helps to keep me motivated.
My Weight Watchers meetings.
When I first joined, that first meeting was horrible to go to. I felt like a failure going. Like admiting I had a problem and needed help was a bad thing. The ladies who work there welcomed me with open arms. They made me feel good about about there. After the meeting, I finally understood I was not alone. I went home on a natural high about the journey I was starting. Hubby was so supportive. He may not have joined, but he started eating like me and working out. We were both on our way to changing our lives.
I look forward to my weekly meeting. I go Monday evenings. At first I hated that they were on Monday. It meant if I let lose on the weekend, it showed at weigh-in on Monday. But now I'm happy it's on Monday. It helps keep me in check over the weekend.
I leave for my meetings early. The meeting doesn't start until 7pm. I'm there at 6 most days. I weigh in before there's a huge line. I get to talk to my leader before the crowd comes in. I get my pick of where to sit in the meeting room. And then I get almost an hour to myself. No hubby, no kids, no cat, no phone, no internet. Just me, myself and my book/magazine/notebook/whatever-it-is-I-brought-with-me. I love that little bit of me time.
When my meeting is over, I'm full of fresh motivation and relaxed. I can track my busy week head on without a doubt.

Yesterday's Overview

Breakfast: 2 cups of coffee (3pts)
Lunch: Black bean quesadilla with fat free sour cream (9pts)
Dinner: Pesto pasta - Weight Watchers recipe (8pts)
Snacks: Granola bar (3pts)

I noticed I still drink too much diet pop some days. There are days I don't touch it, but other's where I drink two or three cups worth. So I'm going to start tracking my diet pop intake.

Pop: 2 cups

Exercise: 35 minutes cardio; ran up and down the stairs for 20 minutes

***Little Extra***
I stepped on my scale this morning. It was calling my name. I'm still in my pjs (which are pretty lightweight), and haven't eaten or drank anything yet. The number on the scale was 4 pounds smaller than Monday night's weigh in. Why oh why can't weigh in be in the morning? I like that number so much more. I know I won't be 4 pounds lighter Monday night. The scale can go up and down every day; muliple times a day, if you're into tourturing yourself. I'll be happy with a 2 pound loss. Heck, I'll be happy with a one pound loss. A loss is a loss is a loss, right?
Still, it was nice seeing that -4 pounds this morning. Remembering that -4 might help me keep things in check while I'm at my mother's house today.

Me?

Losing weight...What's in it for me?
There are millions of people who are in the same boat as I am right now. They need to lose weight. There are some who pretend they don't care. There are some who are in denial. Me? No, I'm not fat. That used to be me. I honestly didn't see the fat person who was staring at me from the other side of the mirror. And then there are those who decide to do something about it and take control back over their bodies. That is where I am.
But what changes one's mind?
For me, the want to change came with the pregnancy of my youngest.
Many years ago, I was slim. I didn't have a healthy relationship with food, but I wasn't fat. I ended up in a bad relationship. We started out happy, like most couples start out, but then the emotional abuse started. I was unhappy, pretending to be happy. I turned to food. I would spend an entire weekend laying on the couch eating packages of cookies, chips, processed food; downing it all with litres of pop. Looking back is almost painful. I knew what I was doing was bad, but I felt better drowning my sorrows in junk food.
My weight, of course, jumped up.
I got out of that relationship and realized I needed to shed some weight. I tried straving myself. I was not in the right state of mind to lose weight. I wanted a quick, cheap fix. I wasn't willing to work on it.
Then I might Hubby. He loved me just the way I was.
We slowly became foodie wannabe's together. I learnt how to cook real food. And I enjoyed it!
Then we became parents to be together.
I treated my first pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted, when I wanted. I craved processed cheese (ick!), pickles and mayo. Not always together. I would go to Subway and order a veggie sub and just put tons of pickles, mayo and a little bit of lettuce. I would go to McDonald's and order 3 cheeseburgers with extra cheese and nothing else on them.
You can see where I'm going with this, right?
I gained 70 pounds with that pregnancy.
It was not a good pregnancy; I turned to food when I wasn't feeling well.
40 pounds melted off quickly, but I held onto 30.
I knew, deep down, that I needed to lose weight. I guess I wasn't mentally ready.
Fast forward almost three years later, my baby was on the edge of turning three and I was holding a positive pregnancy test.
Those 70 pounds from my first was haunting me. I was terrified of gaining that much weight again.
I turned to Hubby to talk about my fears. He gave me the slap in the face I needed, figuratively speaking. He pointed out that I gained the weight. No one made me. I did it. That's when I told him I was joining Weight Watcher after the baby came out. I was sick and tired of being fat.
I watched my diet carefully with that pregnancy. It helped that I craved mushrooms and jelly beans. I craved the odd greasy cheeseburger, but refused to give in. I gained a total of 15 pounds; still giving birth to a 7 pound, 11 ounce baby. I lost the baby weight and was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes in 14 days. And I hated my clothes. I knew I lost my second round of baby weight, but that first round of baby weight haunted me. That bad relationship weight haunted me. I wanted it gone.
I waited three months before getting up the nerves to walk into my first Weight Watchers meeting. And I am so glad I did.
I did lose sight of the big picture over the summer. Or rather, I just got lazy. Summer was hot and I was busy. I stopped exercising, I stopped counting points; But I don't think I stopped caring. I didn't gain weight. I still wish I hadn't stopped the program for the summer. It's a life style change, not school where you get the summer off.
So now I'm back to losing weight and changing my life for the better.
Once again...Why?
Because I want to be around for my boys now and in the future.
When I first decided to lose weight for good, I thought about how I was slowly killing myself. How could I call myself a good mother if I was on the fast track to give myself heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and type 2 diabetes? How could I run after two kids when I had trouble running after one?
I knew I had to lose the weight for myself, but my boys are my motivation.
They still are.

And now it's time for...

Yesterday's Overview

Breakfast: Special K (3pts)
Lunch: Tomato soup with rice (8pts)
Dinner: Lamb burgers with a sprinkle of feta (10pts) -- So filling Hubby and I both just had the burger and a few cucumber slices
Snacks: Cheese and goldfish crackers, bear paw snack pack (8pts)

Exercise: Nada. But I did run up and down my stairs about 30 times in the afternoon. I cleaned. And I played with my boys. I didn't find the time to exercise, but I kept moving.

Post #2

Two posts in one day! I'm on a blogging roll. Too bad I'm the only one who really cares.
But this isn't about having hundreds of readers (although that would be cool); this is about me.

Today I made lamb burgers for dinner. I have only had a taste of lamb once before. It was many, many moons ago. When I was 19, my then boyfriend took me to Niagara Falls for New Year's. We had dinner at the Skylon Tower. He had the rack of lamb, I tasted one bite. I don't remember what it tasted like; I just remember I liked it. I did not like the mint though. Mint, to me, is for gum, ice cream and tea.
I have the Weight Watchers New Complete Cookbook. I bought it for myself last year after Christmas. I love this cookbook! I haven't found a recipe in it that I haven't liked so far.

The lamb burgers are in this book.

I found ground lamb on sale at my local grocery store a few weeks ago. $2.91 for a pound? Sold! I bought two packs. I fell upon the recipe last week when I was flipping though my cookbooks looking for inspiration for my meal plan.

Ground lamb, cilantro, green onion, one egg white, salt and pepper was all it took. Pan fried them, but I think I'll BBQ them next time. Put it in a pita and put on toppings. The recipe calls for tomatoes, lettuce, mint and plain yogurt for the toppings. I did tomatoes, feta and sour cream. Why? It was what I had on hand.

And they were fabulous! Even the kiddos liked them. I may have hinted it was beef to Monkey, but he ate it and he liked it! Muffin was all about the cucumbers I gave him and the pita. He tried feta and loved it. He's very picky about meat. This kid won't eat a chicken nugget! What kid doesn't like chicken nuggets? Apparently, mine. Although he could eat his weight in hot dogs.

Anyways, let's look at yesterday now

Yesterday's Overview

Breakfast: Apple (0pts)

Lunch: Soup (6pts)

Dinner: Chicken, mexican rice, steamed cauliflower, cheddar cheese (8pts)

Snacks: None

Exercise: 35 minutes cardio

Pizza

Yesterday's hospital visit was a heck of a lot better than last time. Muffin is on the right track this time. His doctor says he's looking good and doesn't have to go back in for another follow up appointment until January. Yay!
I did learn that there is a chance he'll have to go through another surgery when he's older. The doctor guessed somewhere around the teen years. But it's just a chance. Doesn't mean it will happen.

Yesterday was a total write off for healthy eating. I stayed within my WW daily points, but I didn't really try to. It just happened that way. But I said my mother likes to push me towards unhealthy foods. She's super skinny, always has been. The lowest weight I have ever known my mother to be was 101 pounds at 5'6". Since her back injury (which got her discarded from the military when I was 16) and her battles with cancer, she is now the heaviest I have ever seen her at 117. She can eat whatever she wants. Always has been able to. Me, not so much.
So, yesterday while we were taking a shopping break in Kitchener, mom decided to bring pizza home for my dad. It was his birthday. Pizza Hut is his absolute favourite resturant. Mom bought a pizza for him and wanted to get one for Hubby and I too.
I debated and finally decided what the heck; why not. It's been forever since I had pizza I didn't make myself. I picked out the Grilled Chicken Arrabiatta. Check it out...

I geared myself up to spend 10 points per slice. It ended up being only 6 points! And it was really, really good. The marinated tomato slices were my favourite part. I think I could eat a bucket of them. I order mine without the onions, but that's a person preference thing.

Yesterday's Over View

Breakfast: 2 slices of toast with a touch of honey (6pts)
Lunch: 2/3 banana (0 pts) -- I didn't like anything the hospital had, so I ate the banana Muffin decided he didn't want. Not the best choice, but at least it wasn't something high in points.
Dinner: Pizza (18pts)
Snacks: 2 coffees from two different places (5pts)

Exercise: No workouts since I was in a car or in the hospital for most of the day, but I still got over 10,000 steps on my pedometer. Yay! Chasing kids around helps a ton.

I'm almost looking forward to my cardio workout today. Oh my...Did I just say, er, type that?

Foods and Other Rambles

Another long day a head of me. We're off to McMaster Children's Hospital for Muffin's followup to last week's appointment.
My mother has volunteered to go down to Hamilton with me and the kids. She's such a help! I can leave Monkey in the waiting room with her, to play with the toys while Muffin and I see the doctor. She came along with me last week too. The doctor was so relieved to see I had a ride and wasn't the one driving. He was worried about me more than Muffin when I almost went down. Guess I was still pretty pale leaving the room with him.
Whenever a day of travel comes up, I worry about lack of excerise and food choices. I don't worry too much when I'm with Hubby. I know he'll keep me on the right path; as well as we can. And I keep him on his path. "Do you think the Baconator is a good idea?" A question I think I've asked more than twice. I'm all up for bacon. I love the stuff. I always say I could live comfortabilly as a vegetarian if I didn't have to give up bacon or cheeseburgers. A good bacon cheeseburger is a guilty pleasure of mine. Now I know I can have my bacon cheeseburger. Just once a month (if that) is more than plenty.
Now, traveling with my mom and the kids is a different story. Mom is always pushing me towards non healthy foods. Or if I find something healthy to eat, she tells me she's proud of me and then either pushes her leftovers or the kids leftovers on me. Or suggests dessert; something she hardly ever has. When I was growing up, dessert was a once in a blue moon treat. Mom and Dad viewed dessert as a reward for eatting your dinner. They didn't believe in giving out rewards for things we were just supposed to do.
I guess Hubby and I share the same vision as far as desserts go. We never have them. Unless his other two kids are here. Then I bake up a storm. Cupcakes, cakes, pies, treats, treats, treats. The other two are used to processed crap food. Their mother doesn't really cook. Mac and cheese from a box, frozen processed meats, hot dogs, grilled cheese and lots of frozen french fries. They're super picky and if it doesn't come from the frozen food area or in a box, they won't eat it. Hubby and I are very different. We make most of our food from scratch. Homemade chicken nuggets, hot dogs only at lunch time (and for the kids. I don't like hot dogs and they're high in points anyway). The two older kids don't like eating at our house because we make them try new things. So I bake and have dessert siting on the counter, staring at them, daring them to eat their dinner so they can have a piece of that homemade peanut butter cup tart, or whatever it might be.
I didn't offer any desserts this summer when they were here. I think they missed them. But we took them to Disney World where they ate their weight in ice cream every day.
If you ever take your kids to Disney World, most of the buffets offer mac and cheese (our kids said it was the best they have ever had. They had some every day I think) and build your own sundae bars. Our kids were in Heaven.
So today I will walk as much as possible and hope to find some healthy food to eat for lunch.

Yesterday's Overview

Breakfast: Muffin (5pts)
Lunch: Soup and french bread (7pts)
Dinner: Sausage, mash potatoes, yucky peas (9 pts) (and in case you're wondering, I hate peas!)
Snacks: French bread with butter (4pts)

Excerise: 2.5 mile walk; 45 minutes Cardio

And lastly...Did you notice? Did you? The tracker up top? 48 pounds to go until goal!

Accountability

Way back in December of 2010, I marched myself to my local Weight Watchers and signed up. I lost almost 40 pounds between then and June 2011. I was proud of myself, but not at goal weight. I still had about 50 more pounds to go.
Yes, you read that correctly. I wanted to lose 90 pounds.
Summer came...and well...I was lazy, er...Lost motivation. That sounds better. Ha!
So, I spent the summer trying to beat the heat and enjoying my BBQ. Hubby and I took our kids to Disney World where we ate whatever we wanted. That included daily doughy bread pretzels for breakfast and Micky Ear ice cream for our daily afternoon snack. The buffets were amazing! Yes, I enjoyed. I came back home right before school started for my oldest, age four, feeling guilty. I enjoyed myself, but at what cost.
I went back to my Weight Watchers meeting.
I feel good about my choice to go back, to get back into the swing of things. It was also nice to see I dropped a pound even though I took the summer off. I walked in there expecting a 10 pound gain. I left thinking - Wow! Once I get to goal, I'm sure I can keep it off. I did for almost three months this summer. It was almost motivational.
That being said, I feel like I need more accountability. It's too easy to use my weekly points to cheat. A chocolate bar and a small bag of chips easily fits into my weekly points. I can sneak them when my oldest is at school and hubby is at work. The baby is with me, but he can only say about 10 words. None of them being "she ate crap food when no one but me was looking and all I got was a handful of goldfish crackers." Well, he does say "fishies" for goldfish crackers. Not the point.
I need a place I can be honest and here it is.

So 50 pounds is the goal of the moment.
How am I going to get there?
I am going to weigh and measure my food.
I am going to plan meals and snacks.
I am going to go to my weekly (Monday night) WW meetings.
I am going to make sure I get in my exercise.
I am not going to make excuses.
I am not going to beat myself up over slip-ups and gains.
I am going to learn from my mistakes and change.

Losing weight is not about being on a diet. It's a lifestyle change. I'm tried of feeling sluggish and flubby. It's time to take control of my life so that I don't end up giving myself high blood pressure, diabetes, heart issues or anything like that. I want to stop turning to food for comfort so I can live a long life with my husband and children. I'm ready for this.