Perhaps I should rename my blog to Diary of a Crazy Lady. I went to the gym last night with every intention to stick to running so I didn't hurt my shoulder anymore than it is. Once I got there I remembered bootcamp was starting in 30 mins. So I ran for 20 and then wandered over for bootcamp. I had completely forgot about my muscle; it wasn't feeling too bad at that point.

Well, I was the only one who showed up for bootcamp! So instead I got a little personal training time for free. I got to try out TRX. It's totally something I can see myself getting into. But, since I still feel so new to fitness, I would want someone there telling me what to do; just like I had last night.

Halfway through the workout, my shoulder let me know it was hurting. I pushed through it even though the voice in the back of my mind was telling me to stop. I felt great after my workout; my shoulder/neck, not so much. I came home and iced it. I'll be icing it on and off throughout the day.

Tonight, I run and only run. No arm work! I need to let myself heal.

I found a new summer treat at the grocery store. Gelato! 

(there should be a picture here, but I'm having trouble uplaoding. Sorry)

This particular brand is only 60 calories with 14g of carbs and 14g of sugar per half cup. That's only 2 points per serving! I bought lemon and it's so yummy with strawberries cut up on top! It doesn't replace the greatness of ice cream, but it's a good sub if it's hot and you just want something to cool you down.

Down!

I ran in for WI last night, but I didn't stay for the meeting. I wish I could have since I don't have a meeting next week due to Canada Day. But Hubby was at the hospital and I had all three Monkeys in tow. Don't worry, Hubby's okay. It looks like he may have had a panic attack; we're not sure why. We're still working that out.

Anyways, I stayed off the home scale all week and just focused on being as good as possible. We did eat out on Sunday since we went into the city. Hubby and I took the boys to Pita Pit thinking it was a healthier way to go. 

Yesterday, I avoided the bathroom with the scale so I wouldn't be tempted to jump on it. 

I stepped on the scale with my eyes closed; like that would make a difference. Then I heard "way to go! It's like last week didn't even happen." Down the 3lbs I was up plus an extra 0.5lb! Yippee!

I would have done a happy dance, but I was so sore and stiff. It was hard enough carrying around the baby all day. It's days like yesterday I wish he was walking already. Then I remember "last baby" and I'm okay with the fact he's still so dependent on me. 

Yesterday I was in a lot of pain from the gym Sunday. I had really pushed myself and hit some personal bests around the gym. I felt great on Sunday. Very sore and a bit stiff yesterday. I was rubbing muscle cream on myself and taking Motrin all day just so I could move. My whole upper back, shoulders and neck were hurting.

This morning I woke up feeling mostly better. One muscle is still super sore and very stiff this morning. I can't bring my arm up or turn my neck to the left. The rest of my body that was sore yesterday feels normal again today. Has me wondering if I pulled a muscle. I'm currently sitting here with an ice pack resting on my shoulder/neck. Hopefully it helps to ice it a few times today so my run today isn't too bad. At least it isn't my legs. I can run. I just might not feel the best doing so.

A little Growing Up

My baby, my Smartie Pants, my male mini me (the skinny version) is all grown up today.

Okay, not really. He just graduated kindergarten. But, any mother out there will agree, it feels like they're all grown up when they're up there getting that little kindergarten diploma.

So far it's been one of those days. I woke up this morning and could hear the tv on in the living room. It was 6am. I went down ready to send a little boy or two back to bed for another hour. There were no boys in sight. One of the kittens was sitting there, watching tv! I don't even know how he turned it on. Weird. When I woke up this morning, on top of being thrown off by the tv being on, I was (still am) sore from yesterday's workout. Mega sore! So sore I busted out the muscle cream and Motrin. Normally, I would just do the cream when I'm this sore, but since I had a grad and a teddy bear picnic to go to with 2 little boys in tow and no help, I took the Motrin too.
Tonight is WI. I'm feeling like a bloated beast. We'll see what the scale says. Any loss this week shall be a victory since I was up so much last week. 

Now I'm off to enjoy some nice, cool watermelon since it's so darn hot right now. 

Furballs and Sugar

Well, my baby, at seven months, is no longer the youngest in the house. Yesterday, the monkeys and I brought home 2 two month old kittens. We went to go see one cat, but she was already adopted. Then the pile of kittens caught our eyes. I asked if we could see them out on the floor. Two took to my monkeys right away. It didn't even take me a second to answer yes when Monkey #1 asked if we could take them home.

So Phoenix and Oreo (original, eh? Ha!) have found their forever home with us. Filling our home with pet love once more.

 (Phoenix)

(Phoenix & Oreo)

We live a good hour away from the rescue we got the kittens from. Being out and about for most of the afternoon with all three kids is taxing on making healthy choices. At least it is for me. I'm plagued with the kids begging for junk food all afternoon long. Monkey #2 for the most part is happy with the raisins or fruit and water or juice boxes I normally bring along. He gets going when Monkey #1 does. At home, Monkey #1 is fine with the healthier treats. When he's out and about, he wants nothing to do with them. He's a sucker for advertising. He wants the candy, the chocolate bars, the cookies, the cakes, the sugary drinks and so on. Yesterday, he got shot down left, right and center for every sugary treat he asked for. If I say no to him, I won't buy for myself. I see it as a win win situation, but I'm sure he doesn't.

When he least expected it, I pulled into Tim's drive-thru. The boys were treated to small frozen lemonades.They were more than happy with their drinks and I tried not to feel so bad giving them something so sugary.

Day After Soreness

I said I was going to push myself at the gym this week. I did just that last night. I ran hills as fast as I could for 15 minutes for a warm up. Then I hit a personal record of lifting 70lbs. Doesn't sound like much compared to Hubby's personal record, but it was a big moment for me. I used to avoid our 25lb kettlebells because I said they were too heavy. Now here I am lifting 70 on repeat. My next goal is to get to 80lbs.

I came home from the gym already feeling sore. I knew today was going to suck. Lifting my tiny 13 pounder is a challenge today. Every muscle in my upper body is protesting. It's as wonderful as much it sucks. I hate feeling sore, but I love knowing what I will get out of it. A slimmer, fitter me. 

This morning I took my little monkeys out for a Tim's date. Monkey #2 had orange juice and a cookie (not healthy, but we all have to have a special treat sometimes) and Monkey #3 was content with his Mum Mum cookie I brought from home. I enjoyed my first iced coffee of the year; made with milk instead of cream. We went for a long walk with a stop at a park along the way. It's so beautiful outside, I wanted to make sure we made the most of it. We'll get in more outside play after naps are done. Plus there's soccer tonight. More running around. It's a special game tonight. Monkey #1 is playing close to my parents' house. My dad is coming out to the game for sure. He misses coming out to watch the games; we miss him too. For two years straight he was at every single one. My mom, if she's having a good day, will come out too. 

I'm on the fence about getting a couple of new cats tomorrow or Friday. Hubby and I had agreed to wait until closer to the end of August before getting a new pet, but I found two young cats at the humane society who captured my heart. Not sure if I'm going to go back to adopt them or not. I really miss having a furball in the house. 

So Disappointed

Oh my gosh!

3 pounds! I am up...3 POUNDS! In one week. How the heck did I manage that? I went to the gym. I didn't eat that badly. At least, I didn't think I did. Guess I need to go back and study my tracker to see where I went wrong.

I had booze this past weekend. Something I hardly ever have. Could that be part of the issue. I had more pop than I have in over 2 months over the course of the weekend too. Could that be part of the issue? We went to Swiss Chalet, but I made good choices there. Could it have been a combination of a bunch of little things I didn't think much of (those three I just listed included) at the time over the course of the week?

It was a hard week with the passing of our kitty. Could everything have piled up on me?

Well, it's time to turn this pity party around. It's a new week. It's time for new goals and a new zest for the life I'm trying to building for myself.

This week, I will not sit around googling adoptable cats and dogs for hours on end. I will not text Hubby a million times a day with with pictures of cats and dogs who need a loving home. I will not spend the majority of my time in the kitchen so I graze. I will not curl up with my kobo and zone out.

This week I will push myself at the gym. I will run harder, faster. I will lift longer and heavier. I will make good food choices to fuel my body the way it should be. I will get up and play with my children. I will host random dance parties in the living room with them.

I will be better because I want to be.

Father's Day Prepping

Since Monkey #1 is old enough to voice his opinions, I let him lead in our Father's Day planning. He decided he wanted to have a picnic, play mini golf and go to Swiss Chalet for dinner.

Now my job comes into play to make it happen and to fill in the blanks. 

We've decided to do our Father's Day tomorrow since there's a chance of rain on Sunday. So, we're leaving bright and early tomorrow morning so Hubby can get in his CrossFit. Next we're going to a park which has a petting zoo. We're going to check out the animals and then have a picnic lunch by the water. I've been prepping the picnic goodies today for tomorrow. Wraps, a chickpea salad, lots of raw veggies and hummus, pre-cut fruits, cheese, crackers and lots of water. We're going to go run off as much lunch as possible at the splash pad at the park. Then we're going to go play mini golf. We played mini golf last year on Father's Day too. I think I smell a tradition in the making here. After the game, if no one is on the verge of meltdowns from a busy day, we're going to go have dinner at Swiss Chalet. If not, we'll stop at Hubby's choice for some take out food to bring home. Tired tears of little ones are easier to deal with at home. And it's less embarrassing too! 

I was hoping to talk my boy into agreeing to take Hubby on a hike for Father's Day, but I wasn't successful. Maybe next year if he isn't so dead set on mini golf again.

Eat Everything in Sight!

I'm having one of those "eat everything in sight" days. I'm doing my best to stay out of the kitchen.

Breakfast was a piece of toast with fresh fruit. I should have had an egg or yogurt too. Lunch was a grilled cheese sandwich with raw veggies and hummus; plus grapes for dessert.

I'm craving chocolate chip cookies, pizza, a cheeseburger, cupcakes...Anything I shouldn't have.

It's grocery day; there isn't much for me to try to sub in for those cravings. The monkeys and I pretty much finished off the last of the fresh produce between breakfast and lunch. There's still some veggies to go along with dinner tonight. 

So I'll down water all afternoon and do my best to stay away from the kids snacks.

Planning future pets

Yesterday we sent our beloved Charlie Cat to his final resting place. Letting him physically go was so much harder than I thought it would be. Hubby and I have had our brave faces on for the boys over the last few days. I finally broke down and cried last night. Once those tears started flowing, they were hard to stop.

Scattered all over our house are the sad reminders of the little fur ball. Monkey #1 is ready to go pick out a new kitty. Or a puppy since he knows I've been wanting a dog for over two years. Hubby and I have agreed to wait it out a little. Hubby said in a month's time. I'm thinking more towards the end of the summer.

(Dark picture of Charlie Cat taken last year by Hubby's iphone)

Any new animal will need time, lots of time, to get used to us, our home and our lifestyle. We have many plans for over the summer months. Picnics, hikes, lazy days at the splash pad, beach visits, a trip up to North Bay, a few days in Stoney Creek, a possible Niagara Falls day trip, a day trip to the Toronto Zoo, a few trips to the water park in Kitchener. Tag all those with the fact that Monkey #3 is still technically an infant who requires most of my time, and we have a recipe for disaster if we introduce a new pet. A puppy can't come with us for most of these day trips. And we'll be gone too long to leave one alone at home. A new kitten needs time to learn not to jump on counters or climb curtains and window screens. Being away from it so much won't help it learn. Plus I don't want to be one of those people who brings home a pet to just never be there for it.

(Charlie Cat back when he was a kitten. He was a handful.)

So, if we do get a new pet, which I can almost guarantee will happen because I love having a fur ball in the house, it won't be until closer to September when I know I'll be home to introduce our new family member to our lives properly.

Moving on

Over the past two weeks, we’ve had our few ups and many downs as a family. That’s life.

Today is a new day. The start to a new WW week for me, since yesterday was my WI day. I know some might consider WI day to be the start of their week, but I don’t. Since WI isn’t until 6:30pm, the beginning of the day feels like the last day.

I haven’t lost weight over the last two weeks. That leaves me feeling rotten. I know why I haven’t. I ate poorly. I didn’t get in my gym time or bothered to work out here at home over the last week. And now I pay the price. I’m okay with that. It’s now in the past; I can move forward.

I haven’t been able to fall back asleep since the baby’s 4am feeding. Kitty is on my mind. Instead of lying there, tossing and turning, I got up. I made myself an egg sandwich with red peppers and green onion and lots of hot sauce. I looked up exercise routines. I enjoyed (and still am enjoying) some coffee with cinnamon. I looked up kittens and puppies for sale. I listened to my boys all snore over baby monitors. I pre-planned and tracked my meals for the day. I made a mental note not to touch the peanut butter and chocolate ice cream in the freezer. I had some yesterday; I’m not allowed today. If I really want peanut butter, I can have a limited amount with celery. If I really want chocolate, I can have it in tea form.

With not quite 5 hours of sleep under my belt, I’m sure I’ll be taking advantage of nap time today. Monkey #1 doesn’t have school today, so I’ll be cat napping on the couch while he watches a movie or something on Netflix I’m sure.

I got my Studio Calico kits the other day. It's always a happy day with Mr UPS Guy drops off my box of goodies. It made me realize I haven't really done much with the past couple of kits I've gotten. Lack of time. So I sat down and made this layout in 10 minutes:

 Fun x 3; the title is about the toy Monkey #3 is playing with. The box of shapes. I bought it for $9 when Monkey #1 was 9 months old. All three of my boys have loved playing with those shapes. Best $9 spent!

And lookie at how the Project Life kit was packaged!

So cute! At least, I think so . Nice and neat and fits into my project life supply box nicely. 

Tonight I hit the gym for some much needed strength training. And maybe a 20-30 minute run if I have the time.

saying goodbye to a dear friend

A week ago yesterday, I was calling Hubby in Ottawa to tell him I thought the cat was sick. He had been acting strange for a few days, but it wasn't until that Sunday I really noticed.

Now I sit here, on the cement floor of my laundry room, cradling my kitty while the little boys nap. 

We've done all that we could for him, but it looks like this is the end. My little heart murmur kitty only made it to 3 years old; although you wouldn't be able to tell he's so young right now. He looks like he could be 20; he's so sick.

I don't know how I'm going to tell the boys. Monkey #1 is the only one who's going to understand what's going on. He's not going to take it well.

Charlie isn't the best cat. Heck, he isn't even a good cat. But he's a part of our family; we love him very much.

My heart is breaking...

Plugging on

The fog of this cold is finally starting to lift. I spent Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday in a foggy haze. I had no desire to do anything. I don’t think I had the energy to do anything even if I wanted to. Poor Hubby was picking up the slack big time around here. He’d work all day long to come home and clean, take care of the monkeys and take care of me. He’s an awesome guy; I’m very lucky. Thanks to him, my house isn’t a wreck.

I haven’t been to the gym since Sunday. I’m feeling so icky. I’m going tonight for sure. I still can’t breathe out of my nose and I still have a nasty cough, but I need to go. I actually miss going. I haven’t been as happy this week. Okay, yeah, I was (am) sick; who’s going to be happy when feeling like dirt, right? Still; getting your sweat on has been proven to make people happier. When I was happy being inactive I couldn’t imagine anyone truly loving an active life style. I couldn’t wrap my head around why anyone would want to sweat. I felt sorry for those active people; they missed out on a lot of tv.

I can’t believe I used to think like that. Never would I have thought I would be one of those people who likes to sweat. Okay, confession, which I think I have confessed before too, I hate sweating. I hate the feel of sweat. I prefer to be dry. But I’m willing to sweat now. And that I don’t mind at all. I like knowing when I feel gross and icky from sweat, I can shower that ick off and I’m left feeling awesome from a great run. Or that feeling of empowerment that comes from beating a personal record with the weights. I look forward to those feelings now. I’m craving that right now. I don’t care if I run at a snail’s pace tonight. I just want to go.

Oh, and the official no has been given to Ottawa. They offer Hubby the job; they really liked him. They just weren’t willing to pay for him. They low balled him for money. He countered back, asking for $2 an hour more. They refused. So, as upset over it as we were, he turned them down. We’re not going to uproot our family if we can’t even keep up with our current lifestyle. It’s not worth it. It’s a shame. We were so excited (and stressed) about that potential move. 

Spread the Germs

You’d think it was winter time in my house. Not almost summer. The monkeys all came down with colds. And even with lots of hand washing, I too, have succumbed to those germs. I’m a sniffling, sneezing, coughing wreck who’s nose is both stuffed up and runny.

We’re a household of grumpy sickies.

Thankfully Monkey #1 isn’t too bad and he was able to go on his class trip to African Lion Safari today. Hope he’s having fun. 

The one nice thing about being sick is that I have no desire to eat. Not even absent mindedly. Since I have kids to feed, I am remembering to eat something. Maybe that pound I put on stress eating will melt back off thanks to this cold.

I want to get my sorry butt to the gym tonight, but would that be wise? I figure if I take hand sanitizer with me, I shouldn’t spread any germs around.   But will I have the energy to make it through a workout?

Stress eating

I caved to the pressure of being stressed out.

 Chips and pop called my name and I answered. I didn't eat a whole bag of chips; but I ate way more than I should have. And pop; we haven't had pop in the house since Christmas! And now there's an almost empty 2L bottle in my fridge.

Hubby will not be impressed when he gets home. He won't be ticked off. He's not like that. But I might get a small lecture with good intent behind it.

Being alone to parent the monkeys for a few days was tough. It didn't help that Monkey #3 is teething and sick. Monkey #2 is getting sick. Monkey #1 is going through a rebellious faze. And, I myself, on top of being tired from 5 hours of broken up sleep, am getting sick myself. How do single parents do this? Kudos to all single parents out there! 

The stress of being the only adult in the house, the stress of Hubby's interview, the stress of a possible move, the stress of everything regarding my parents, the stress of the cat getting seriously sick (unsure if he'll recover or if we'll have to put him down) and so on and so on...

Hello stress eating! The day before weigh-in too. If I must stress eat, I must remember to do it on Tuesday so I have the rest of the week to work away at those extra calories I ate. 

Typing that out and reading it to myself shows me how self destructive I can be. I shouldn't have that mentality. That I can pig out on a certain day because I can go to the gym the rest of the week.

What I need to work on is finding more productive ways to handle stress. Or emotions in general. It's something to personal work on throughout this week since we're still up in the air about a move. The company likes Hubby. Hubby thinks he likes them too. Now it's all about negotiating. 

Stress...

Hello anxiety! How are you? I've been better without you looming over me.

Really, it's not so bad. I haven't fallen full on into the grips of anxiety. It is building though. It's looking more and more like Hubby's interview on Monday is more of an there's-our-company-this-what-we're-offering-you-please-take-the-job. They've expressed he's exactly what they're looking for.

I'm feeling pretty proud of him.

Unfortunately, nothing is set in stone yet. We're not even sure if we'll know more about the near future by Monday. Just because he's going in and it looks like they're going to make an offer, doesn't mean they will. Or that he will accept one.

I'm very much a planner. It's driving me crazy that I can't start planning. Although that hasn't completely stopped me. The past two days has had me glued to the laptop, kobo (I have an Arc, it's like a tablet) or the iPod touch searching kijiji and MLS for houses. I've been researching areas, Google Mapping how far places are from the possible office and from the only Anytime Fitness gym. I'm locked into a 12 month contract, but I can go to any Anytime Fitness gym in the world; and I can have my account transferred. I've been looking up schools and preschools. I've been comparing moving companies and u-haul. I've been trying to figure out if a smaller u-haul truck would be good enough since our current 3 bedroom house is on the very tiny size. Everything we own currently used to fit in our 2 bedroom apartment. The only things we've added is a second tv, a futon and bunk beds.

In other words, I'm setting myself up for a great disappointment if this job falls through. I'm letting myself get too excited over it. But, on the positive side, if Hubby takes the job, we're a little ahead of the game since we're going to have to move fast. We're already setting ourselves up for the possibility of him living and working in Ottawa during the week and coming home on weekends until we get everyone moved. There's a very small possibility of him being able to work from home for a few weeks while we pack up and move.

I haven't told my parents about the possible move yet either. That's eating away at me. I want to be here to help them in anyway that I can, but we can't pass this opportunity up.

I feel torn. I keep brushing my teeth so I won't eat out my stress.